New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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