We're facebook friends in real life
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
