Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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