this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
