I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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