If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
