So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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