I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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