i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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