I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
