Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize