Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
