Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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