There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
