I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
