Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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