That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Drake has all the answers
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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