I wannas sexs uuuuu
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
