We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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