We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
third nipple confirmed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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