i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
