Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize