Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
