there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
