idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
