My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
