i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
