Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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