Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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