So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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