Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
