its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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