My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize