cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
