HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
