I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
