On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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