cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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