Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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