no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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