Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
