yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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