kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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