I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
