Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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