Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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