Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
