plz talk dirty to me
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
