Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
