it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
