operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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