drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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