The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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