All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize