Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
