We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We need a shit load of segways right now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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