That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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