Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The uberlube is also flammable
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
