I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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