I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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