If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
