is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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